Sorry for my lack of posting, I’ve been a little sad and homesick the past couple days. I think it’s mostly due to stress from still not getting my bags, figuring out classes, figuring out homework, and settling in my room. I am feeling better today as I got a couple new shirts and a new pair of cool sneakers, so I no longer have to continue to walk around in my ripped uggs, may they rest in peace! I also got to do laundry, which is so great! Although the dryers suck here, either that or I stuff it a bit too much, regardless drying my jeans out the window does cause a few laughs.
I had a really good chat with one of my flatmates today and I am trying to be more outgoing than I have been. Most of you know that I tend to retreat when I am sad unless I trust you enough to talk to you, which sometimes I tend to overkill at Gordon, my apologies. Anyways, it was nice to just get to know her better and see what her interest are and stuff. I missed out on going out last night because I was super-stressed and tired, but I hope to go out soon. I think it also has something to do with lack of going out clothes and make up, but next time I’m just going to ask my mates if I can borrow some.I rearranged my room a bit and it feels more me I guess. I hung up a calendar and two photos because that’s all I have right now and at least it feels lived in. My bed is actually really comfy and I am sleeping through the night, which is really good.
God has been teaching me things everyday, I mean He does that all the time, but being abroad makes it stick out more. I have learned to have a general trust in others, which is hard because we are always taught not to trust anyone, but God has shown me that sometimes its ok to let the guard wall down a bit and ask questions. If I never did I might have never made it here lol! God is also teaching me to trust Him and myself. I walked all the way to this bookstore I wanted to check out and it was about a 30min. walk from where I live and even though I had to ask, I trusted and had faith in myself that I could find it. My mom gave me this small cross pendent that can fit in my jean pocket. On the back it says, “Do not be afraid I am with you Always.” Whenever I feel scared when I am walking or get confused about which street to turn or get stressed out about something I put my hand in my pocket to touch the small pendent and I am reminded that God is here and I am not alone. It really calms me down. I had to do a lot of class additions today and register as a student to get my ID card, which I still don’t have because they said I needed my own picture, but that is a lie because my flatmate got her taken there! So, I am going back tomorrow to see if I can take a picture there, instead of wasting money on one. I added a divinity class to my schedule and I am so excited about it! I am now taking: Scottish Literature 1, Art History 1, and New Testament 2. I am a little nervous for the New Testament because they already had two lectures so I hope I didn’t miss much. Still need to figure out what the homework is for all, they have blackboard here and all the homework is on it, but it’s really hard to figure out sites and links. I’m sure I’ll get the hang of it soon.
No new news on the bags yet, I am hoping for them to come by the weekend, but no one really knows. I can manage the rest of the week but I don’t know how long I can last if I don’t get them soon. This is another lesson God taught me: how I actually need little to survive and what I need is really important, like deodorant, and toothbrush and paste, a razor. Small simple things. Yes, I really miss my makeup and clothes, but I learned that I don’t need to be excessive and learned that I can live on little and realized that many people live like that all the time and some can’t wash them as often as I do. It makes me sad but very thankful, grateful, and appreciative of what I have been blessed with. I still hope they are returned to me but now I am much more grateful for what I have.
I miss my Gordon family, family, friends, and home, but I know this will become home soon enough just like Gordon did. I’ll be praying for you all.
Much heartfelt love and gratitude,