Things Missing…basically me being whiney

I feel as if I am a freshman again, not understanding what the heck to do for homework and making new friends, which I’ve come to find that I suck at, at least I think so right now. I keep forgetting that I’ve only been here a week. I’m trying to make friends and go to the Christian club events, which does seem to help, but at night when I am alone and no one is in our flat, I miss the noise of my 210 apartments, the laughter and ramblings of Fulton, the quiet of Gordon in the night. I am trying to stay on top of things of homework, calling the airport about my bags, and attempting to be more outgoing than I actually am. It’s so easy for me to slip into a quiet bookstore and read all day avoiding people and there is a time for that but not all the time. Tonight I am going out with my flat, which will help me get closer to them. I just feel awkward all the time because I don’t have any clothes, make up, or contacts. To be honest I am sick of wearing the same clothes everyday, having to wear my glasses, and not being able to feel good about myself with a bit of makeup! I don’t usually care and for most of break I did wear my glasses and not much make up, but now I want it. I want to feel pretty and worth something. I want to feel slightly more confident than I do now. Mom thought maybe buying some clothes would help and it did for a bit, but I don’t want to spend money on things I already have and there are books, pictures, notebooks, that I want, its not just about my clothes. I sound whiney now, but this is how I feel today. I can’t help but miss my friends, Gordon, and home. Now I doubt that getting my bags will cure this missing everything, but maybe it would help because at least I would have photos of friends and school supplies and stuff that will make home here. It amazing me how dependent I am on my stuff. I’ve learned the lesson, but how long do I have to dwell in it. I hope that my bags will return soon.
Anyways, I am off to Christian Union club meeting…maybe that will make me feel better.
Much love,
PS: I’ve been watching Dead Poets Society, I had forgotten how much I love this movie! It motivates me to study!


One response to “Things Missing…basically me being whiney

  1. Dead Poets is brilliant… For inspiration on how to survive your clothes-less time, watch Pursuit of Happyness.
    You will get through this. And you have a great personality – you will find friends!!
    Love you,

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